2.4: D. Impacts

D. Impacts

The impact of domestic violence is very widespread. For instance, domestic violence not only can occur in same sex relationships but it is as prevalent in such relationships as in heterosexual relationships. However, such cases may not be handled the same by agents of justice or by service providers. For example, the American Bar Association states:

• Same sex "Victims receive fewer protections."
• "By 1994, there were over 1,500 shelters and safe houses for battered women ... shelters routinely deny their services to victims of same‑sex battering."
• "Same‑sex batterers use forms of abuse similar to those of heterosexual batterers .... An additional weapon is the threat of 'outing' their partner to family, friends, employers, and community."

Image 2.3

No matter what the gender of the partner is, domestic violence can have a range of impacts on the victim. While not all crimes are alike, nor are all victims affected the same way, most do experience some sense of loss. Additionally, victims may have injuries such as:

Physical –­ Victims of domestic abuse often have to deal with bruises, stitches, and broken bones, including but not limited to fingers, ribs, and skull. Domestic violence tends to escalate and, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, 2000, "the percentage of female murder victims killed by intimate partners has remained at about 30% since 1976" (Rennison and Welchans, 2000).

Cognitive – Victims may have problems concentrating, and may experience flashbacks that interfere with daily living.

Emotional – Feelings may include: anger, loneliness, depression, confusion, fear, and helplessness. Emotions may feel overwhelming at times.

Relational – The aftermath of victimization may cause discord in relationships. Victims may feel pressure from others to "get on with life," and they may feel misunderstood by relatives and/or friends.

Domestic violence affects not only adult women and men but teens as well. In fact, according to a report in the Family Law Quarterly in 1995, "28% of high school and college students experience[d] dating violence at some point," and "26% of pregnant teens reported being physically abused by their boyfriends [and] battering intensified after he learned of her pregnancy" (American Bar Association).

Brainstorm why teens in particular might not leave an abusive relationship.

Similar to adults, there are many factors involved in why battered teens don't walk away from abusive relationships. It might seem that leaving would be easier for a teen than for an adult married individual who may have economic and marital ties. However, one cannot discount the particular variables of teens' lives that cause them to stay in violent relationships:

• They may fear they will be isolated from friends.
• They may struggle with low self‑esteem.
• Teen mothers may have the same financial dependencies as adults with children.
• They may feel enormous pressure to be in a dating relationship.

Explore with the students if they felt this pressure as a teen. Do they feel this pressure now? Is the pressure greater or less now? Why?

• It is only within a (long‑term) relationship that a teen girl can be sexually active without getting

a "bad reputation."

Explore the sexual norms and expectations for young females compared to young males in our society. How have class members responded to these expectations.

• Girls often believe that it is their job to make the relationship work.

Do students believe this expectation is also present in “healthy” relationships? Students can journal or write about what the expectations are in their relationships and where these expectations came from.

• Their limited experience affords them little opportunity to compare the abusive relationship to a healthy one.
• They may confuse jealousy with love, especially if they grew up in an abusive environment.
• They may be reluctant to turn to adults for help.
• Media violence may create an expectation and atmosphere in which violence is the norm.

In addition to adults and teens, an estimated 3.3 million children are exposed to violence by family members against their mothers or female caretakers" (according to a 1996 American Psychological Association study as reported in TriState Rural Guide). Even in a situation where the children are not the primary victims of abuse, they suffer in many ways.

· They get sick more often, have below average self‑concepts and loss of empathy, and are "more predisposed to become victims or victimizers" (Tri‑State Rural, Guide).

· Abductions: "Over half the child abductions that occur in this country involve a history of domestic violence" (Tri‑State Rural, Guide).

· The children of battered women are "physically abused and neglected as much as 15 times higher than the national average" (Tri‑State Rural, Guide).

· “Domestic Violence is the single, major precursor to child abuse and neglect fatalities in the U.S.” (Tri‑State Rural, Guide).

· Most tragic of all are the numbers of children who are killed when the abuser kills the adult victim. In one study, "27% of domestic homicide victims were children" (American Bar Association).

The emotional impact on child witnesses may include the following:

· Terror – once the violence has occurred, the children live in fear it will occur again and are always on guard.

· Rage – they may feel anger toward the abusive parent as well as the one who is being abused, because they feel unsafe.

· Confusion and Helplessness – they do not understand what is going on and do not feel that they have any options.

· Guilt & Shame – children are often told that they are to blame for the abuse against their parent.

· Grief and Depression – if the abused parent decides to leave, the child may feel grief over leaving the other parent and perhaps their friends and school.

· Emotional Withdrawal –they may have trouble forming relationships because of low self-esteem, anxiety or depression.

· Fear of Abandonment – they are afraid the family won't stay together or that they may be sent to live with family or neighbors; siblings may be separated.

· Divided Loyalties – in trying to protect their families, children often are forced or feel obligated to lie to teachers or other authority figures. They may also feel torn between the abuser and the abused.

· Identification with the Abuser – children older than 5 or 6 have a tendency to identify with the abuser and lose respect for the victim.

(Tri‑State Rural, Guide)

Child witnesses may also suffer an impact on their cognitive behavior such as:

· They have learned that anger means violence and is an effective means to get what one wants.

· They learn that adults are not trustworthy.

· They begin to equate love with abuse.

· They may learn to be deceptive and indirect in communicating.

· They may learn stereotypical gender roles with men as aggressor, women as passive (in the case of male abuser, female victim).

(Tri‑State Rural, Guide)

Witnessing abuse may also have a behavioral impact on a child such as they:

· May suffer developmental delays because of abuse.

· May have learning disabilities.

· May have stress‑related illnesses, i.e. sleep disorders, headaches, stomachaches, diarrhea, ulcers, asthma, depression.

· May act out, responding to conflicts with force, coercion, or violence.

· May be more likely to experience running away, homelessness, chemical dependency, or suicide.

(Tri‑State Rural, Guide)

Witnessing abuse may also lead to physical abuse. According to an American Psychological Association study in 1996,"40‑60% of men who abuse women also abuse children" (American Bar Association). The same impacts of physical abuse described previously against adults, of course, applies here to children as well. Also as stated previously, abuse may result in the death of the child.